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Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea


Rating: 7 Poseidons



Reviewed by Carl R.




What more could one ask for on a Thanksgiving Day than an undersea adventure from Irwin Allen?  The viewing of Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea took place in Groton Connecticut, on November 27, 2003. 

Groton just so happens to be the Submarine Capitol of the World, and two of our viewers just so happened to bring true-to-life submarine experience to the party. With one submarine veteran and one submarine builder in attendance, the chances of any technical disparities slipping by the crowd were virtually nullified.      



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The Seaview Doing a 78 Degree Breach



We actually liked this movie too much to give it the harsh scrutiny usually afforded to lesser movies, such as Hollow Man and Firewalker. But, we couldn't let everything go, so we didn't.  A few obligatory notations before moving on:

The Seaview's cathedral ceilings were a bit higher than the cathedral ceilings found in most Trident submarines.
The Seaview's picture windows were a bit wider than the picture windows found in most Trident submarines.
The Seaview's king-size bunks were a bit bigger than the king-size bunks found in most Trident submarines.
The Seaview's 78 degree breaching angle was a bit steeper than the standard breaching angle of most Trident submarines.
The Seaview's shark tank probably would not have been standard equipment on most Trident submarines. 
The Seaview's shark tank did not spill any water during its 78 degree breaching maneuvers. 

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The Crew on Deck - Heels and All

The Seaview's female crew members probably would not have been present on a standard submarine mission in the 1960's (or 70's, or 80's, or 90's, or 00's). 
Had female crew members been present on the Seaview at any time, it is doubtful that stiletto heels would have been a standard part of their uniforms.
The Seaview's run-in with sinking ice blocks probably would not have occurred if the laws of physics were being observed. 
The notion of the sky catching on fire seemed a bit far-fetched.

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The Giant Octopus - Getting Shock Treatments

The octopus that attacked and encompassed the entire front of the Seaview was a bit larger than the standard gulf coast octopus vulgarus, which measures about the size of a human palm.  Then again, the Seaview is an 18-inch plastic model, so the overall Seaview-to-Octopus scale might have been accurate. We digress.
The chain-smoking permitted on the Seaview probably would not have been permitted on most Trident submarines.  

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 The Seaview at Cruising Depth

But, why go on splitting hairs when the highlight of the film hasn't even been discussed yet?   

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The Giant Squid

Most would agree that the giant squid attack contained the film's most gripping moments.  This was one slick squid.  It very convincingly played dead as if it were a huge mass of latex rubber and styrofoam, all the while waiting for some hapless divers to come along.       
And come along they did. Walter Pidgeon needed to tap into the undersea phone cable, so he sent a group of expert divers out to do the deed. In the process, the expert divers foolishly wandered into the many waiting arms of the giant squid. The giant squid, ever the instinctive hunter, launched a vicious attack on the divers. The divers thrashed about wildly as the giant squid very sedately tried to squeeze their lives away. 


But the divers had prepared themselves for such looming dangers. They brought their squid swatters along, a preparatory move that ended up saving their lives. The divers skillfully used their squid swatters to swat the giant squid into submission, then lived to swim back to the safety of the Seaview to tell their tale.  

Had this encounter ended in favor of the giant squid, the divers would have learned the fatalistic lesson of why one should never try to rip off the phone company. 
Irwin, you've done it again!