Club Annals ...
Speed 2: Cruise Control
Reviewed by Elizabeth W.
had a car on St. John with Cruise Control. Funny, because you couldn't
go over 20 MPH, so you could never Speed. And that's the most
interesting thing about this movie that I could come up with. I saw the
original Speed. It was pretty good until the bus-connected-to-a-bomb ran
out of gas at the airport where there are ten zillion
other gas powered vehicles that apparently got their fuel down the
street at Cumberland Farms.
the availability of Official-Police-Under-Bus-Connected-To-A-Bomb-Demobilization-Carts
very good. They had at least 3 of them just sitting in a old hanger
somewhere, gassed up and ready
to go. Speed 2 was not nearly as coherent as the original. Blandra
Bullock breaks up with her cop boyfriend in the first movie, gets
involved with Alex (Jason Patric) another cop, and is shocked (?) that
he has dangerous job so they go on a Caribbean cruise to relax. Enter
the evil, computer geek Geiger, played by Willem Dafoe. Willem is a
good actor with a stupid first name and very poor taste in film
scripts, unlike Blandra who is just stupid.
Geiger has gotten mad at his former employers, Caribbean Cruise Ship
Navigation Systems Programming Inc. Why is he mad at them? Because he
has become overexposed to computer components and has a fatal allergy
to lap tops. He intends to get his revenge on the company by carrying
around a bunch of lap tops (and some benadryl). He'll use the lap tops
to mess up the cruise ship's navigation systems and run the ship into
a conveniently located island. For the
next two hours Blandra, Alex and Geiger find a variety of amusing ways
to irritate each other. There is the little, deaf girl that Alex had
to swim under vast amounts of water to save, because she can't hear
the alarm that indicated the ship is sinking. She's not blind, so why
she never notices all the other passengers getting into life boats is
kind of mystifying. And all the sea water sloshing down the ship's
interior corridors may have been another non-hearing person's cue to
abandon ship. But alas, when Geiger can't make the ship hit the island
(!), he aims it at a conveniently located oil tanker. But then he
makes the ship hit the island anyway and there is a three minute
boat-hitting-the-island scene that completely defies logic.
best thing about Speed 2 was an interview I saw with Blandra after the
movie was released. She said it was bad movie. I concur.