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Killer Fish

Reviewed by Carl R.

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Killer Fish

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You know, like iths never nithe to sthpeak ill of the deadth, but it really theemed like Margaux Hemingway had a sthpeech impedthiment in thith moveeth.  Oh well, leth's not thpeak of it again.

Killer Fish - 1979 - Thtarring:

James Franfishcus

Eel Majors

Margaux Hemingray

Karen Blackfish

Gary Codlins

Marfisha Berenson

It all sthtarted at the sthecret power plant, where a bunch of theevthes broke in to thteal the jewelths. Justht gothes to proovthe that you learn thumthing new every dayths, becauth it wathn't until now that I realithed that all power planths keep jewelths on the properteeth.

Anyway, the movie appearths to take plathe in the thuthern porthun of Argenparmisthan, but ith hard to tell, with all the differing thpecies of thflora and thflauna and thuch.


Fithshing, STHPHEAR fithshing ...

Next, James Franfishcus takeths it upon himthelf to hide all the jewelths under a sthchool of trained piranhaths stho none of the theeves can thteal them from each otherths. Thisth workths out pretty well for the firstht five minutesth, but then the brotherths theeves dethide to stheal the jewelths from all the other theeveths, stho they get eaten by the thrained pirnahaths.
Thith inthident really getths Eel Majors thinking, and then he can't thstop thinking for the retht of the moveeth.  It hurthsts to watchtht.  But wait, it geths wortht ... 

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 It wuth relly hard to get picthures of thith moveeth ...

Margaux Hemingray and Karen Blackfish thtart a catfishfight over who getsth to sthleep with Eel Majors. But, thince Eel ith thuch a prolifthic thinker, he thettles it by thleeping with them both - a regular King Tholomon. But thith really fishes off Marfisha Berenson, who makeths herthelf feel bedderth by cothying up to Gary Codlins.

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Deep Thought ...

But the real villain ith James Franfishcus, who plotsht and sthchemes through the whole moveeth.  He wanths all the jewelths for himthelfs.  But alath, it ith not to be. 
All the major playerths end up in a sthmall boat that thurvithes a major dam-break.  James Franfishcus tryths to ethcape with all the jewelths in a row boat, but Eel majors sthwimths out to the boat and foilths the plan by pulling the plug out while being bitten by piranhaths.  James Franfishcus, of corth, shthinks along with the boat, and duthn't thurvive the thubthequent brutal attack of the paranhaths.
In the end, Karen Blackfish gothes crathey and endths up in a tropical athylum. Eel Majors and Margaux Hemingray endths up with all the jewelths, asth Margaux Hemingray triumpthantly drivthes their limothene off into the thunthet.

Eel Thermino.

Editorths Note: It wuth pothible that Gary Codlins and Marfisha Berenson got a cut of the jewelths too, but the ending wuth kind of confuthing, stho we can't tell for sthure.