this review to my son Cameron, who I hope and pray never does
anything so bad that his punishment would be to sit and watch this
Double Team =
No Triple Threat
Claude VanDame, Dennis Rodman and Mickey Rourke are the main players in
this forgettable film. Thankfully
it is only 93 minutes, however that is 90 minutes too long.
I will give three shaky minutes to Mickey as he displayed an
awesome washboard stomach, bulging biceps and looked buff enough to eat,
but then he opened his mouth and I was snapped back to reality.
During the film we traveled
to Paris, Rome and Antwerp. When
was the last time any film traveled to Antwerp?
Anyway, during our travels we visited a carnival with machine gun
clad clowns, hospitals with no doctors or nurses, lots of shattering
glass or maybe it was acrylic, very confusing chase scenes, explosions
that required a Coke machine to hide behind to save you, the burning of
the Roman Coliseum which looked like an A-bomb test, and underground
tunnels manned by computer monks (what?).
O.K. lets make this real simple.
Mickey’s son gets killed
(probably by a clown). Claude’s
pregnant wife gets kidnapped by Mickey’s band of bandits.
Somewhere in there is inactive plutonium.
The highlights of this movie