the Movie Club Annals ...

 
The Abyss


Reviewed by Elizabeth W.
       
 

                       

Coincidentally enough, I just finished buying paint for my bathroom and Sherwin-Williams aptly chose the name Abyss for the color blue.  That pretty much says it all.  But I digress.  The viewer with even a snake-sized brain has to wonder why the folks in this little drama failed to recognize that when the submarine/ship thingy sank to the bottom of the ocean/Mars, that the air filled, cozy, fully equipped ESCAPE PODS were completely ignored.  There were dramatic scenes of lovers "temporarily" killing each other in order to what?  Save air? Save space in the air-filled, cozy, fully equipped, operational ESCAPE PODS?  They did eventually, after three hours of weird water fairies winging in and out and a little in-fighting and some really innocuous other stuff, find and use the fully equipped, totally operational, been-there-from-the-beginning ESCAPE PODS.  And we all remember the biggest and almost cheapest ending to any movie ever.  Whats-him-name walking out of the ship doing a John Glenn-like imitation of a past role he played.  Arghhhhh!

E.W.